triviageek

There is an old phrase about 'cooking in someone else's kitchen'. I've heard my mother use it, when referring to the fact that it was something much harder to do than cooking in one's own kitchen. She used that phrase when she was occasionally pressed by circumstances into cooking elsewhere as if to apologize for any poor results she might produce.

As a child and later as a teenager, I always thought she was referring as much to trespassing into someone else's territory as to the actual difficulties posed by not knowing where pans and utensils were stored.

I come, at least on my mother's side, from a background of very good cooks. My father, on more than one occasion, remarked that the worst argument he ever witnessed between his mother-in-law and father-in-law was over who made the better biscuits. My maternal grandparents had once had their own restaurant and my mother had been brought up in that environment.

Sadly my mother was unable to teach me to cook. She did teach my older brother, but when it came my turn, she would inevitably chase me out of the kitchen saying that 'I made her nervous'.

So my cooking education has always been sadly lacking. I learned from watching a couple of odd cooking shows on PBS and from learning to read and follow recipes. By odd I mean the Vegetarian cook in Hawaii who used a lot of native Hawaiian foods in the meals she prepared and served her (also vegetarian) family. Then there was the enthusiastic guy who scoffed at all who had the 'coffee warmer mentality' and insisted that "MICROVAVES ARE FOR COOKING". In fact I think that was the name of his TV-show.

Anyway, as a result I do a lot of vegetarian cooking in the microwave. *rofl* REALLY! I'm not kidding.

In fact once when my brother and sister-in-law were visiting me, my sister-in-law feeling some sort of obligation to try and help, followed me into my kitchen. Observing the presence of a bamboo steamer (advocated by the vegetarian), watching while I cooked green beans in the microwave, and gazing at the assorted items in the cupboard racks like -instant miso soup; my sister-in-law pointed to the packets of cocoa mix and told me "they were out of place".

Puzzled I said, "No, they were in the spot where I normally kept them".

Whereupon, she said "No, you don't understand. They're out of place because I KNOW WHAT THEY ARE!"

To this day, unless it's something instant to which I just add water or a frozen TV-dinner that I just heat up, I need to follow a receipt EXACTLY or it's a culinary disaster. Unless it's frozen vegetables cooked in the microwave, that is. I've learned how to prepare them in MY KITCHEN'S MICROWAVE USING MY NORMAL 12 OZ DISPOSABLE FOAM CONTAINERS. Elsewhere using a different microwave (wattages vary) or using a different sized container (and thus a different amount of food) I would be lost.

Hence there's another meaning of the phrase 'cooking in someone else's kitchen' that had totally escaped me previously. A REAL COOK doesn't measure stuff constantly, they know what a cup of flour looks like in their bowl, how long to cook a roast in their baking pan, etc.

And me, surely the lowest form of real cook around, someone who's mastered cooking frozen cauliflower, is as dependent on MY KITCHEN ENVIRONMENT as much as others are on theirs.

So what do you think happens when the store where I buy my 12 oz disposable foam containers ceases to exist (in fact it's demolished)? When those containers (whose frozen vegetable contents when cooked turn into just the right size serving for a quasi-vegetarian like me to eat at home or with a suitable lid to put in my brown bag lunch for work) what happens when they're not available any more? What do you think I do?

Of course I freak ... and spend the next week finding an alternative source and stocking up with about a two year supply of the goods.

Yeah, THAT is what I now have sitting around in large boxes cluttering my home and car....